I am hungry and I need something to eat, but with everything that I have read on the Internet lately about diet and nutrition I am just not sure what I should have. Let’s think this through:
First, I heard that you should drink water before each meal, so I need to get a bottle of Aquafina – no wait, bottled water is bad for the environment because of all the waste and pollution. Tap water it is. No, not tap water, I almost forgot: tap water has chemicals and fluoride and stuff in it, so a no go on that. Maybe I should get one of those R/O (reverse osmosis) systems installed; second thought, R/O water is stripped of all the minerals that my body needs. Maybe I’ll go Paleo with my water and drink like a caveman. I’ll find the nearest stream and I can capture some water in a stone cup – but wait, what if the water is tainted with bacteria or animal feces or something? I can bring the water home and boil it, or maybe even sanitize it over a fire to save gas. But will the smoke from the fire pollute the air? Maybe I’ll pray for some rain and stand outside with my mouth open.
Okay, now I need to be sure that I have a good balance of protein, fat, and carbs in my meal.
Protein: I think I’d like a steak. Or was steak bad for you? According to my doctor, red meat is hard on your digestive system and high in saturated fat, which clogs your arteries. According to that Paleo book I read, cavemen ate red meat, so perhaps it’s in my genetic code to chomp down on some rare animal flesh and get some omega 3’s and iron. But then again that vegan website suggested that eating meat is wrong and will give me cancer. Suppose I do go for the steak, apparently I can’t go to my local grocery store and buy meat because that is all CAFO meat fed with genetically modified corn and antibiotics – or so says that website I was on last week. So now I need to talk to my local rancher. Only I live in the city. Where the heck is the nearest ranch? And when I find a ranch, do I just go and knock on the door and ask for some non-CAFO meat? And how much will I be polluting the environment by driving around to find a ranch? Maybe I should just raise my own cow. Crap, is my yard big enough to house a cow so that she is not confined? Maybe I can just find another source of protein.
Maybe I’ll go for some soybeans; I like edamame. I’ll just have to be sure I find organic soybeans so I am not eating the GMO (genetically modified) stuff. Let me get a bag of USDA Certified Organic soybeans. Wait a second – USDA? Isn’t the USDA in bed with Monsanto, the evil biotech profit machine that is destroying agriculture as we know it, or so I read yesterday? How can I trust anything certified by the USDA? Maybe I can find a farmer who farms soybeans without bowing to The Man. But where do I find that? Okay, let’s skip protein for now and move on to carbs.
Carbs: Let me get some whole wheat bread. I’m sorry, not whole wheat – I sure as heck don’t want to suffer from a wheat belly. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that bread itself is mutation of grains brought to us by the Agri-Giants who are all but forcing a regression in human evolution by force feeding us refined grain products. Bastards. I need a hard-core grain, like quinoa or buckwheat. And come to think of it, quinoa and buckwheat are good sources of protein too, and not technically grains, so I could almost be eating vegan and Paleo at the same time without pissing anyone off. Wait another second. How is quinoa and buckwheat harvested? How many field mice and rodents are crushed by combine and tractor tires during the harvest of these pseudo grains. I guess I’ll need to meet some quinoa farmers to find out their harvesting practices and be sure that they only use human labor – non-child, fair-trade, above-minimum-wage labor, to be exact. Grown locally too – buying local is the best, or so I’ve heard. I think. Is quinoa grown in America?
Okay, forget grains; give me some fruit! How about a nice juicy orange? I am pretty sure there is nothing unnatural about an orange. They are grown domestically. They are available this time of year. Some insects might die during their production, and I am pretty sure that insects are considered a lower form of life than humans– even by vegans. Does that mean vegans can eat bugs? Or are they okay to kill, but not consume? And then are rodents okay to eat if they are being killed by tractors to harvest grains anyways? Where is the cut-off in the animal kingdom for acceptable to kill/not acceptable to kill? Sorry, back to the oranges. The citrus groves are only a few miles from my house – it doesn’t get much more local than that! Finally, a food that is local, accepted by all as nutritious, and completely natural. Or maybe not. These oranges here grow in groves – they are not wild oranges, growing in their true natural state. Is fruit really natural if it is grown in groves of evenly spaced rows, fed by irrigation systems, and not allowed to feed in wild soil with pure rain water? These oranges have to be different than the oranges that grew thousands of years ago now that they are confined and grown in a controlled manor, much like how we distorted wheat and other grains with current agricultural practices. Crap. Where am I going to find a wild orange?
While I ponder fruit, grains, meat, and soy, maybe I’ll just get a salad. On that note, isn’t salad in the same boat of the other food items mentioned? And if it’s wintertime, can I even get locally grown lettuce? What sort of environmental impact does growing lettuce have? Pesticides used (even “natural” ones), labor involved, and growing practices are all issues.
On to fat. No, I’m too tired to get into saturated, unsaturated, omega 3, omega 6, poly, mono, and everything else. Ugghh. Can’t I just find a local ecosystem where animals run wild, grains can be quickly harvested, fruits can be picked, and vegetables can be picked without affecting the environment in any way?
Maybe all of this information I have read lately does not always make sense or hold true and I should concentrate on eating whole foods that are best for my body and give me the energy I need without stressing over every last detail. Eh, what fun would that be?
Now, sarcasm aside: Yes, there is something to being knowledgeable about the food you are putting into your body. It might be a good idea to research some books, articles, and websites about what you should eat. BUT… be careful about what you read. There is a lot of false and unproven information in the Internet (and in books too) about diet and nutrition – so be sure to keep an open mind along with some healthy skepticism in your research.