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Gluten and Dairy are Satan’s tools brought unto Earth to Destroy your Health

Published on July 9, 2015 by in Just for fun

Gluten and dairy are Satan’s tools brought unto Earth to destroy your health. That’s what I read somewhere on the Internet.

 

You see, humans are the only species on Earth that drink milk beyond infancy. Why would you put something in your adult body that is meant for babies?

 

How about this? Humans are the only species on Earth that cooks, so you can ahead and ditch that practice too. Maybe we are the only species on Earth smart enough to drink milk and consume milk products beyond infancy because we recognize that excellent amino acid profile in a lot of milk products. Plus, you need milk to make ice cream, and ice cream is yummy. We are smart, and lucky enough to eat ice cream. Good job human race. We rock.

 

And then Gluten. Don’t eat wheat, because wheat is farmed and part of the agricultural revolution that destroyed the world and your intestines. Guess what? Agriculture has brought us other things like big groves of oranges and giant fields of lettuce. So ditch your store-bought fruits and veggies along with agri-demon-wheat products.

 

Check out this video on how to become gluten intolerant.

 

Last I heard, Jesus ate bread. And if bread is good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me. And gluten is in pizza. It’s also in beer. So… yeah… not having those things would kind of suck.

 

One last thought: If dairy makes you bloated and gives you the runs, don’t eat it. But if your body handles it just fine, don’t ditch it because chimpanzees and snow leopards don’t consume it in adulthood. Same with wheat. If wheat makes you break out in hives, it’s a no-go for you. But if your body handles it just fine, then you can enjoy a good beer with me and the rest of the people who happen to enjoy wheaty things.

 

Despite what you may have read, seen, or heard, wheat and dairy most likely won’t kill you. My grandpa eats wheat and consumes dairy, and somehow he has made it into his late 90s as of this blog post. As far as I can tell, wheat and dairy are not Satanic. So as long as you don’t have an allergy to them, eat and consume them.

 

 

 
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