Someone approached me in the gym the other day and said, “Hey! I read your bio and saw that you lost over 50 pounds a while back. Good for you! That’s awesome! How did you do it?”
I thanked her and everything, then I told her what I did to shed those lbs. And honestly, there’s a short version and a very detailed version. I’ll give y’all the short version with all of my weight loss secrets.
- I got a second job to pay for all the workout equipment, supplements, and health food I knew that I would need. We all know it’s WAY more expensive to eat healthy than to eat junk food. And since I didn’t foresee getting a 50% increase in my salary at work, I did the next logical thing and got a second full-time job. This way I could finally eat organic foods, fresh produce, and ditch that ever-filling dollar menu at fast food joints. You might be thinking, “With two jobs, where did you find the time to exercise?” That brings us to number 2…
- I found a 25th hour in the day. It’s WAY too hard to find time to exercise in a normal day. At the time I had two kids, my wife and I both worked, our kids were involved in activities – you could say our schedules were filled. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to find time in a 24 hour day. So I prayed to God for an extra hour each day. Lo and behold, one day I woke up and looked at my clock and there it was: a “13” right where the 12 was supposed to be. Hallelujah! Now that I had that extra hour I was able to use almost all of it for exercise. But with a 13 on the clock, doesn’t that make the day 26 hours long? No. I can’t explain why, it just doesn’t.
- I did the spaceman diet. The caveman diet is so 2011. We all know the caveman (or “Paleo”) diet, right? Cavemen ate nothing but plants and animals (supposedly), but absolutely no beans, grains, or white potatoes, and evolution isn’t a thing, so we should eat that way too. I took the opposite approach. I ate how human beings will be eating a million years into the future. And what foods are those? I think you know.